Wed 9-10-90

Tomorrow is 9\11.... I Just want to send a message of Peace and Love to all people of the world....But the biggest hugs and kisses are for for the trans and gay communities...

My ideas are still not gelled and my communication skills are not where I would like them to be, but I want to be a voice for ALL MOMS out there who are struggling with their children's choices.... It has taken me several years and lots of therapy (and yes some anti-depressants, which I thought I would rather die then take)... and the occasional sleeping pill) to get me to realise I have no control over my sons choices and I would rather be his over the hill jewish cheerleading mom then a nobody in his rich life.

The most warm welcome I ever received was post top surgery... My husband and I took 10 days off to take care of our son before during and after surgery. At the end of the week we all went to a gay bar where our son wanted to celebrate! I received sooooo many hugs and well wishes, because no one could believe how supportive we were.... Most everyone in the bar had a heart wrenching horrible breakup with almost all family members.....The best thing I learned that night was to cherish and cheer our son to succeed in all he wants to do!

Of course being the Jewish Mother I am, that is asking for the impossible... I cannot keep my mouth shut and more often then not I get myself into trouble.... Speaking of trouble, what is it with trans-men and tattoos.... OY, Saint George (the therapist) really gave me a what for when I complained about my son coming home with yet another tattoo and not telling me first....Unfortunately for me that was the session I brought my son with me.... I was blasted for not having the right to be told as it was none of my buisness (just because my son is 25 and an adult, I thought as his mother I had the right-YIKES) My son was doing the happy dance that day and I came home and went to bed to ponder on all my other mistakes, and there have been way too many!

I am finding this blog helful to me to retell stories that seemed overwhelming at the time, but have now mellowed (like a fine wine) into lots of insight and fewer tears..... Yes, I still cry rivers over the craziest things but I recover faster these days and Saint George is there to help put all into prespective for me... I am still longing for the day when I don't have to reach for the kleenex box in George's office, but sweet man that he is says I can use as many as I want.....I also keep kleenex in almost every room in the house.... better to be prepared!

Until we meet again....